Gratitude

#Gratitude

I have reached a place in my life where what lies ahead of me is unclear, not known, a path that exists mainly on a map in my imagination. There are places I hope to go, things I wish to do, people I look forward to meeting, ways I would like to contribute and all of it is new to me.

“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” Joseph Campbell

Campbell’s words are the sign on the trail letting me know I am heading in the right direction. They are the life raft I sit inside as I float on foreign seas. But when I wake in the night and wonder how, when, if, why, and all those named and nameless fears about the life I aim to create are so ready and insistently demanding to be talked about right then and there….I make a choice. I choose to listen to these voices and then speak my gratitude for every thought that comes to my mind.

Trying to ignore those nagging bits and pieces only results in tossing and turning. Speaking my gratitude about each and every worry has allowed me to fall back asleep. I can’t really say what alchemical process occurs when I actively become thankful about very real and pressing concerns. But something magical does occur. Some would call it prayer, others might see it as acknowledging a watchful part of oneself. What I have experienced is that gratitude quite literally reveals the next step on the trail to lead me out of hard places. It’s not that real problems disappear. Gratitude lightens the load and lets me move on. It shifts the entire focus to a more expansive view. Balance comes in and the ability to notice truly good and beautiful things that are also in my life returns. Gratitude is the oar in the raft that I use to move in fruitful directions. And when daylight arrives I am more prepared to take action rather than spin my wheels.

My mother would often remind me to have ‘an attitude of gratitude’.  She knew gratitude as the machete necessary to hack through the thicket of weeds that sometimes engulf us. I am grateful to have witnessed my mother remake her life and move into directions she imagined and worked to successfully create. And I am grateful to have inherited her gratitude machete!

Thoughts on Creativity

Whatever 'it' is, the notion that 'it' can be done either 'right' or 'wrong' is one of the largest obstacles to dissolve when creating. You can replace the idea of right and wrong with any number of words. Try: perfect, lovely, good, acceptable, something others appreciate, you name 'it'.

The space between what arises in the heart and mind as a vision you would like to create and the completion of this idea in physical form is #Creativity. "But how do I create?" I hear you ask.

First of all, I HEAR you. I have sat with the terror of beginning something new. I have sat with it for minutes, hours, days and then when it comes to the biggest dreams of my life I have sat with the terror of beginning for years and even decades. There. Phew. A true confession. Wow. First time I have told the truth on that. Such a relief.

I've spent a lot of time and energy delaying the start of the projects dearest to my heart by staying on the sidelines of life dwelling in the fear of doing it right.

I was sitting in a bank recently and overheard the manager telling someone about a quote from Thomas Edison. “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”  Light bulbs (he he) flashed brightly in my head. Yes! This is the view, exactly! Wherever, however, I internalized that my first time out I will get things the way I want, THIS is an underlying belief to transform.

My imagination is vivid and detailed. And when I am honest some of my visions are so large that taking them from the dream inside my head into the reality of the physical world is going to take time and work. It is that simple.

I want to acknowledge that moving in to NEW means that I (you, we) do not know how to do it yet. Or have not done it this way before. Creativity is fundamentally a life lived in new, unexplored, yet to be done (at least by you in the way you bring yourself to the work), an exploration, an exercise, an experiment....

You bring all the skill sets you have so far in life, and necessarily you will learn a lot. Learning means trying and possibly not finding the way that works, YET. I imagine a baby learning to walk. Stand up, plop down. Stand up, fall over. Stand up hold on. Stand up, balance. On and on goes this growth. Taking a step. Falling down and splitting a lip, bonking the head...all of this to say...try 'it'...go try 'it' NOW! You have at least one cheerleader, me, on the sidelines delighted you are IN the creativity game.

True Teachers

I've recently been in conversations around who qualifies as a 'True Teacher'. This inquiry comes out of a conversation in which I shared with a friend an area of my life where I am actively engaged in creating change. My dear friend holds a firm conviction that True Teachers are necessary to create lasting change in your life and that a True Teacher might be necessary for me to enact the changes I wish to make. I have to admit that I have small alarm bells that go off when I hear this. I also recognize what a relief it is to meet an other who has wisdom and experience and offers clarity when the murkiness of life obscures the path ahead. Someone who can say "This way!"

A smaller flock.

Last December I was standing outside on a mild day near the ocean and heard them before I saw them. Overhead, hundreds, perhaps thousands, of geese flying in one giant loose undulating V shape. A mesmerizing site. Group after group with one goose in the lead of smaller Vees...all aiming in a direction....made up this impressive migration. Watching over time it was clear that the lead goose changed. Research about migration yields interesting truths. The flock flies further when in formation. It takes a lot of strength for the first goose to lead the way. The leader moves from the front to the rear becoming a follower where drafting is easier when the lead goose has become tired. There is a constant rotation.

In those moments watching the geese I felt immediately how it is possible for this to be true for humans as well. Humanity is birthing a paradigm shift (sometimes called the great turning) one element of which is top down leadership moving to a style that supports a way for the wisdom of all to come forward. This is not a small topic.

Some of my meditation is around recognition of how everyone I encounter is a teacher who holds wisdom...if I will only search for the gems offered when they are not immediately obvious. And when it comes to those who call themselves True Teacher....well...then I am curious about what they are aiming for and if it is where I want to be heading. In any case it is my conviction that I really do know best  what is important to learn when I allow myself enough quiet to listen to my inner voice. Hearing from a wide range of others, (professional, gifted, wise, learned, kindly hearted) is quite helpful for perspective, and ultimately only I can choose the best course for myself.

Playing the Field

The truth is that I want to PLAY with life. View the path ahead as a great game instead of having much consequence. Of course the playground has the possibility for a scraped knee or a broken bone. AND I want to PLAY! I live knowing all of life is #sacred play....just gotta get out there and learn the field....mmmmmm.....yummmmy...yummmy.....fun!