Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Living with Fullness

I wish it were possible to openly wail in grief with others without this being scary or disturbing. When did we become a society in which exhibiting the deepest sense of loss is not considered polite?

When did we put a lid on ourselves?

When my mother died, a death we knew was coming, a wise hospice worker suggested that death is not an emergency. No need to call 911 or move the body out rapidly. We had 24 hours. All of her many and varied friends came and went all through the day and an informal wake just happened. Her political friends sat and talked over the latest news. Some played cards, mom's favorite pastime in the months before she died. And her two friends that were nuns came and wept at her bedside. The day came and went. I went to sleep and when I woke and came downstairs to see her body a long deep involuntary wailing began that woke my brothers. I threw myself on her body and let it come, the tears, the deep guttural uncontrollable sound. Oh did that feel good....a river long dammed moving once again. Since that happened nearly ten years ago all of my emotions move more freely.

I now notice the nuances of our culture and how many signals we give to shut down the free flow of emotion. Do you think our health might be affected?

Surrendering my attachment to how I might look to others for the sake of my emotional well being has been a practice. One well worth the work to move into more fullness of being alive.

No comments:

Post a Comment