Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Moving Out of the Story

There are two things that move me out of the story and in to the present. One is going out into nature and taking time to just be there and notice what is around me. The second thing is my one year old grandson who has yet to be in the story.

This boy spends time with what lights him up. His mother allows this. Rather than direct him to do this or that she just lets him follow his heart. So one day he spent ten minutes taking a grocery receipt and put it into and pulled it out of the hollow part of a marrow bone that had long been bleached by the sun. He crawled around with a nickle in his hand tapping it on the floor as he went. The great pleasure of his day...going in to my bedroom to the ceramic pot full of pennies and taking hands full of pennies and throwing them into my bed and onto the floor. I've left them far too long after his visit just as reminder.

The reminder is that I can carve out a place in my being that allows for life to be nothing more than about what really lights me up. I've gotten so tangled in earning a living, in trying to figure out what my status and value is, in making meaning of it all....but what if the most important thing is to cultivate and fertilize what lights me up? That I don't have to know where it is going or what it is serving or the great and grand scheme of how it will all turn out.

What if I could simply stay in the not knowing of it all, of taking the risks to play with my own version of the receipt or the nickle, tapping along? What if I could remain as open and trusting as my grandson and look clearly and cleanly into the eyes of those around me without covering or masking myself and offer love?

Yesterday when I went out to sit in the forest I had some moments when it all fell away...all of the pressing pieces of the story that I carry as important. I was able to experience some moments of being in how wonderfully right everything is and my place is not all that important. I felt as light as a butterfly sitting on a small oak branch.

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